Hillary’s itinerary in Copenhagen:
23:00 Land at Cph airport. Undo belt before the stewardesses tell you to. Airport security my ass.
08:00 Locate baggage. Argh, it’s the one with the pink panties tied around it. (Very funny, Bill.)
09:00 Harbour tour! Act interested. Check iphone subtly.
10:30 Meet the Queen. Pet dogs and the prince consort.
12:00 Lunch with Villy Søvndal. Keep Convo to a minimum.
13:00 Speech to the young people. Try to pronounce “Rødglød med fløde” (Will make them laugh)
14:00 First beer at Distortion. Listen to House music from the back of a bicycle. Seem uninterested but moderately entertained.
14:30 Sixth beer. Connect with young people. (Pee.)
16:55 Speech time. Find speech from Lithuania. Replace “Vilnius” with “Copenhagen” and “Lithuanians” with “Danes.”
17:00 Give heartfelt speech about Denmark and the Danes.
19:00 Buy ticket to the “Demon” in Tivoli.
21.45 Get through queue and actually ride the “Demon” in Tivoli.
23:00 Shots and “baby bites”.
06:00 Off to Norway. Find speech, replace “Copenhagen” with “Oslo” etcetera.